Topless Sports News
Nov. 18th, 2006
For those of you, who don't know already, OJ Simpson is releasing a book next month titled, "How I Did It," to be released through Regan Books. Actually, it's titled "IF I Did It," but Judith Regan, the head of the publishing company has been hyping the book as his confession. Fox Network will be airing a 2-night interview with O.J., conducted by Judith Regan during sweeps week, which will spike the Network's numbers and be extension, their advertising rates. They'll also be able to heavily promote Fox's shows airing during the sweeps. The sad part is that the two-part interview will likely be the two highest rated hours during the sweeps. The book had a first print of 400,000, HARD COVER, and according to AMAZON reports, it will likely be a best seller.
Obviously, O.J. tops any list pertaining to hell-bound hyenas benefiting from his murdering his wife and her friend. But who is the second sleaziest piece of jock fungus in this nausiating, steaming pile of exploitation? These are my nominees.
1. Rupert Murdoch - Murdoch owns the book publishing company AND the network airing the interviews. If we were able to see his financial records, we would probably find OJ on his payroll, since NOBODY, has profited as much from these murders than Rancid Rupe.
2. Judith Regan - The sleazy book publisher could always pull the plug before publishing the book, but best-selling novels don't grow on trees, and she knows it. Her interview will be so softball, she will make Diane Sawyer look like Jim Rome, by comparison.
3. Sponsors - Should we reward the sponsors who enable the airing of this crap with our commerce? I think they should acknowledge the show that their sponsoring. "Ford - Have you driven a Ford (while fleeing the cops) lately?" Isotope Gloves - "Keep the frostbite off your fingers, and your prints off the crime scene" Mcdonalds - "Need a quick snack before decapitating your wife?"
4. The viewers and the people buying the book. - If you have to see it, watch it on You Tube, if you want to read it, find a transcript on the Internet, but whatever you do, DO NOT put money into this shit-worm's pocket.
Your comments are always appreciated.
Nov. 15th, 2006
I watched the DVD of the classic boxing matches that I transferred from among the 16 MM stock footage that my friend had inherited. These fights were absolutely amazing! The quality of the transfer was first rate, and the video and sound ar exceptional.
The DVD starts out with a pair of Mickey Walker fights from the early 1930's. This was during the period of the great Irish fighters on the East Coast, and both of his bouts are against other Irish fighters. One of them was named Lochran and the other was named Sharkey. I believe they were both champions prior to fighting Walker. These fights are black and white, and they have narration that was added in post-production. One of the cool features was the footage of Walker's training regimne for the fight, which included him dancing the "Charleston" while working the heavy bag.
The next fight was excerpts of Jack Johnson (the first Black heavyweight champion) vs. Jess Willard, who was some journeyman Good Ol' Boy from Texas. The fight was fought in Havana, Cuba in 1915, and was a scheduled 45 ROUND FIGHT!! Johnson, was a fugitive from justice at the time, and he had to defend his belt off of American soil. He allegedly was told before the fight by a couple sherrifs, that they were planning to extradite him to America, where he would be imprisoned, if he didn't throw the 24th round. After watching the fight, I can say with certainty, Johnson DID THROW THE FIGHT. He litterally didn't throw a fight for the final few rounds. This match was also narrated in post-production, and skips several of the 24 rounds, which is fine by me, since Johnson wasn't really trying to defend his belt anyhow.
After some Golden gloves footage, the next fight I had transferred was
Joe Louis-Max Shmelling 2. This was the rematch which would have been roughly 1940. This was one of those America/Nazi battles of superiority, and Louis carried the weight of a nation and his race on his shoulders. Louis stepped up in this rematch, and he BEAT THE SNOT out of Schmellling. 4 knockdowns in the first round, before the German's corner threw in the towel. They also showed the knockout in slow motion. I could litterally stare in the Brown Bomber's eyes as he stalked Schmelling for the kill. SO FREAKING COOL!! The next fight was Max Baer versus "Two-Ton" Tony Galento. Baer was the former heavyweught champion by this point, and Galento was an up and comer, with a personality that would make him a millionaire today. Galento didn't even look like a fighter. He cheated with head butts, backhands, head butts and constant clenching. The history behind this fight is that Galento had his pre-fight meal at his bar, where he washed down a huge bowl of spaghetti washed down by a HALF CASE OF BEER! While drunk, his brother smashed him in the face with a beer mug, opening a 1 1/2 inchgash in his mouth that required stitches. After watching the fight, I can say with certainty, he WAS TRASHED. Baer pummelled him, and Galento couldn't answer the bell for the 8th round. One of the cool things about this fight is that the ring mic was really loud, so I could hear all the verbal jabbing between the boxers and the referee.The post-match interview was conducted by BUD COSTELLO (form Abbott and Costello) The best part of the interview is watching a clearly flustered Costello try to maintain his cool as he loses control of the interview.
The next fight was Joe Louis versus some journeyman named Bob Pirabu. This was a schedule 20 rounder. Lois abused this dancer, knocking him down three times in the first round. Louis scored 6 knockdowns, but this fight was kind of boring, aside from the historical factor.
The next fight was former Featherweight champ against a journeyman named Lulu Perez. This 1952 match became relevent after a 1982 sports illustrated article suggested that Pep through the fight, which he lost in the first round under New York's three knockdown in one round rule. After watching the fight, I don't believe Pep threw the fight. He took an early shot to the head, and he never seemed to regain his bearings. After the 2nd knockdown, Pep was essentially out on his feet, and the third knockdown practically spinned his head 360 degrees.
The final fight was a middleweight battle between Champion Sugar Ray Robinson and Former Champion Rocky Graziano. I love the old italian boxers from the 40's and 50's and Graziano was one of those champions. The fight was great with lots of terrific exchanges, but after three rounds, Sugar Ray wore him out (He was a machine!) The knockout punch sent Grazziano's mouthpiece flying! AWESOME!
This DVD is absolutely amazing, and I look forward to checking out all of the other footage before transferring them to DVD. I defintiely have a lot to work with.
I am also going to make copies of this DVD and I will make them available for purchase, because these fights need to be seen.
These champions of old, would definitely be champions today, and Tony Galento is one f the most interesting fighters I have ever seen.
As always your questions and comments are always appreciated, and be sure to catch the latest episode of Topless Sports News with guest host, VERONIC RAYNE at
There must have been a rainbow extending from my toilet bowl last October, because an amazing opportunity fell into my lap. My friend Vito - who had been subletting his apartment to me, came over today,with two crates of original stock 16 MM film footage from a bunch of classic boxing matches that his great uncle had left him. They had been stored, and he needed someone to move them for him before the quality of the print decays. He came to me, because he knew I was familiar with sports and film. He's giving me a nice piece, and I just finished going through the crates. There's some truly awesome footage of legends like Joe Louis, Floyd Patterson, Max Baer, Primo Carnera, Max Schnelling and Two Ton Tony Galanto. These fights are championship bouts and the Jack Johnson fight in Havana, Cuba lasted 25 rounds out of 64 scheduled! There's also a Laurel and Hardy film and two Chaplins all in mint condition. I can't wait to see these fights on a screen. Now I have to figure out whether to duplicate them on video.
Today, I picked up two of the reels, which I had given to the A/V department at LA City College, where I work in the athletic department. I'm watching the fights tonight, and the quality of the DVD is UNBELIEVABLE!
I'll review the disc and the fights tomorrow, in between the auditions for new anchors.
Nov. 14th, 2006
Wait until you leave the office, before checking this week's episode of Topless Sports News, with this week's special guest anchor VERONICA RAYNES! www.toplesssportsnews.com
Due to popular demand, we've begun adding new sections, including soccer, NHL, and Horse racing. Those segments will be posted later in the week, so continue visiting the site and check for the updates. Other really cool things will be added to site throughout the month.
This week's anchor Veronica Rayne is a full-on porn star, and she's sexy as hell, with an All-Star set of pom poms.She's leading off our favorites list on our Myspace home page. www.myspace.com/toplesssportsnews
We've also finally solved our problems with porn stars difficulties with reading the prompters. I think you'll like it. It will be more obvious on the segments added later in the week, because they were the last segments shot. You'll spot it for sure next week, and in all future shows.
As always, your comments are always appreciated, so keep them coming, and ENJOY THE SHOW!
Nov. 13th, 2006
07:37 pm - My Fave Five Sports Sites
I'm just waking up at the crack of sunset, after an insane 60 hour burn of auditions, writing, shooting and post-production. We had an amazing week, and we have some awesome new On-Air Talents who have joined Team Topless Sports News.
The new show will be posted in a few hours at WWW.TOPLESSSPORTSNEWS.COM with this week's guest anchor, VERONICA RAYNE! Veronica is a hot Sicilian porn star, who is from everyone's favorite Valley, by way of Boston. Check her out and send us your feedback!
So, I wake up knowing that the Monday Night Football game would be lame as ever, and it doesn't effect my Fantasy League, since I just traded Marvin Harrison for Clinton Portis, a mere hours before Portis busted his hand, killing my season. So instead - I'm going to give you my Fave Five Sports Sites. These are the ones I read dailyto find interesting stories and also, because I think they either offer the best writers or the best overall formats. The list is in order of my personal preference, and of course, I'm excluding my site www.toplesssportsnews.com
1. SPORTS ILLUSTRATED - www.si.com S.I. is the perfect combination of quality writing, wire reports, and columnists. Their Truth and Rumors" section is the original, and I also think the site looks the best. The occasional bonus feature from their magazine is always great, and they rarely zap you with extra charges, which is my biggest complaint about ESPN's worthless site. Sports illustrated is the gold standard in both print and on the web.
2. FOX SPORTS - www.foxsports.com I've only recently returned to Fox Sports after a 2 or 3 year break. I'm not a fan of Rupert Murdoch or Fox New Channel, but I have to admit, they know how to make a visually stimulating and informative site, whether it's on the internet or on the television. The main reason for their high placement on my list is their RUMORS section. Fox's rumors section actually out does S.I's version, because where S.I. excerpts on or two sentences from the original story, Fox Sports writes a synopsis paragraph and INCLUDES THE LINK to the original story! That's a major bonus, however S.I's writing is clearly superior to al of the other sites, with the exception of certain Newspapers, so Fox is likely peaking at number 2.
3. Deadspin - www.deadspin.com Deadspin is one of the first great sports sites to come out of the blogosphere. They have original content that combines humor and plenty of my beloved links. What on first glance appears to be a five miute read can keep you planted to your desk chari fror two hours as Deadspin guides you through the blogosphere better than any other site out there.
4. Yahoo Sports - www.sports.yahoo.com (Or, you could just click on Yahoo and then on sports) Yahoo has always had the best Fantsy Leagues, as far as I'm concerned, so I spend a lot of time on this site. Their Sports site has made tremendous gains over the last 3 years. They gained a lot of momentum in my eyes when they recruited columnsit Dan Wetzel away from CBS Sportsline. Wetzel was their top columnist at the time, and Sportsline has never recovered, becoming essentially a place to seek wire stories. Wetzel posts several columns aeach week, along with sevral experts working exclusively for Yahoo. They also have a great listing of several of the top columnists in the country. However, they are lagging in the link department which keeps them below Deadspin and especially Fox Sports.
5. Boston Globe - The Boston Globe is the best Newspaper Sports Section in the country. They invented the News and Notes section decades ago, they have the best columnists, and I grew up in Boston. The Globe has the best Celtics coverage by a mile, 'NUFF SAID! The only reason they aren't higher on the list is because the paper can't keep up with the sites content-wise, and while their Sunday postings have some of the thickest and highest quality content, the rest of the week is kind of slow.
So there's my list. What sites would you include on your list?
And don't forget to check out our show at www.toplesssportsnews.com
Nov. 11th, 2006
So tonight, while my two co-producers are at the big release party for this giant XXX video, I'm going to be jamming out the script for tomorrow's show. I hope my partners have enough game to bring a couple of the actresses back to the Topless Sports News Studio (apartment) late-night/early morning. Oh well - I live in Hollywood, and I write for the most popular topless sports news show in Singapore, so if I keep writing good shows, there'll be other porn parties.
On a brighter and far more Geeky note, In my fantasy football winners league, I accepted a trade where I gave up Colts Wide Receiver Marvin Harrison for Redskins RB Clinton Portis!! Now, I have Portis and Larry Johnson, and I may find a way to win-out the rest of the season and possibly make the playoffs, where anything can happen. I'm below .500 right now, and I face the first place team this week.
Why do they call it fantasy football anyhow. It's more like statistical wagering football. If it were my true fantasy team, I would be the Quarterback, and next week's Topless Sports News anchor Sunny Lane would be my center. In a salary purge, I would waive the rest of the team. And lastly, we would practice on the late Wilt Chamberlin's wall-to-wall waterbed. You can see Sunny's debut on November 20th, and yes - she's going to be at the party that I'm skipping to bring you your weekly dose of edgy sports humor (sigh!)
Be sure to check out our new show this Monday with our other new anchor Veronica Rayne. I'll keep her on my fantasy team. She'll be my tight end. And don't forget to catch this week's show with my favorite wide receiver, ALIANA LOVE! And yes! They're going to be at the party too!
Nov. 10th, 2006
Ron Artest's debut C.D. was released on October 31st, and he only sold 343 copies? I heard the disc, and I have to say I like it. I think if he were playing for the Miami Heat, instead of the Sacramento Kings, this disc would not only be charting, it would also be receiving airplay in Miami's influential hip hop market.
Tell us what you think. I have one of his tracks "Crazy" with guest rapper Juvenile on it on our Myspace page www.myspace.com/toplesssportsnews. If you click on his song, you can check out the four tracks he has posted on Myspace.
Let me know what you think of the tracks, and tell us why you think it's selling so slowly.
Nov. 9th, 2006
It's Wednesday night, and Terrell Owens hasn't done anything crazy for me to write about yet. I'm worried, because I've begun to rely on him for 2 guaranteed zingers. So, I'm going to peer into my Crystal ball and offer my prediction, and I want to hear your's too.
My prediction: On Friday night, T.O. will crash a high school performance of West Side Story and join the Jets for their fight scene. On Sunday, he'll make 7 catches for 130 yards and two touchdowns. Then, he'll sing "When you're a Jet" at the post-game press conference.
What do you see in Terrell Owens immediate future?
Nov. 8th, 2006
My Five Dream Topless Sports News Anchors 11-8-06
Riding in the back of the Topless Sports News Limo, I have time to reflect on those things that are most important to me, like WHO WOULD MY FIVE DREAM ANCHORS FOR TOPLESS SPORTS NEWS BE.
My five fluctuate, with one or two regulars, and since I have to write all these blogs I figure I'll document them.So, I'm going to list my Fantasy Five each week. Send me your Fantasy Dream Team of Topless Sports Anchors also. I'll add up the points at the end of the year and make the readers Dream Team of Anchors.
1. Brooke Burke - Ever since I first saw her on "E's Wild On..." Brooke is what I look for in every talent I audition. She's the total package, the Babe Ruth of JIGGLECASTERS. She looks bomb in a bikini, she's smart and energetic on the mic, and she's bomb in a bikini.
2. Rosie Perez - I like the Latinas! I would love to have Rosie reading my jokes, especially topless! I bet her commentary would be awesome, and I can picture her D-cups swinging around as her intensity rises.
3. Jackie Johnson - Everyone in Miami and Los Angeles knows Jackie as The most beautiful weather girl in the world. The rest of you will have to google her. She's blonde, stacked, smart, and stacked! Kackie is the Goddess of the Bluescreen.
4. Jessica Simpson - She can't be in the mainstream for too much longer, and it's not like we've never had an anchor with Double-D's that couldn't read. Ordinarily, we shoot the segments in one or two takes, but I'd give Jessica as many takes as she needed.
5. Rosaria Dawson - Sin City keeps repeating on my one cable movie channel. GAWD - she's sexy. I bet she can read too.
So there's the Innaugural FANTASY FIVE TOPLESS SPORTS NEWS ANCHOR DREAM TEAM.
E-mail me your list, (and a better name for this than the bolded above.)
And be sure to check out our show at www.toplesssportsnews.com with this week's anchor ... ALIANA LOVE!
Should the senate continue their STEROID investigation against MLB?
Now that the Republicans have lost control of the Senate, I personally would like to see the investigation closed for any abuses by players prior to the banning of Steroids and HGH from Major League Baseball. I don't want to see players like Roger Clemens dragged through mud, and I REALLY don't want to find out that my All-Time favorite player was actually, a cheat.
WHAT'S YOUR OPINION?